I Wonder...

why life is so weird. i feel like i have something i want to say, but i just don't know how to say it. but i'll try:
i'm not happy with myself. i'm not the woman i expected that i would be. i'm not the woman i was created to be - i can feel it in my bones. i know within me is much strength, wisdom and freedom (in the Lord, most especially), but i'm having great difficulty embracing all of it. i had an opportunity to leave thes country this year. i was going to go to south america for six months as a missionary. i tried, i really did, with all of my heart and energy - but it just didnt work...

i guess i could first begin by wondering why my mom is listening to snoop dogg in the next room. does that sound like a good place to start? haha, pretty much there is no point to this post, but to post something. so here it is. something. yeahhhh.